Realism, photo, product, design, collage

Prompt

Combine these three objects into one single absurd but legally patentable invention. Output:
Official patent title (overly long)
USPTO-style abstract (150 words)
4 ridiculous ‘claims’
One real-sounding problem it solves Style: 100% serious US patent office document.

Create four clean black-and-white technical patent drawings (exploded view, side, top, perspective) of this new invention in classic patent illustration style.

Now render the final product in glossy Apple-product-photography style on white infinity background with subtle reflection. Add fake patent number in corner.